Getting On With LIFE

OK so I have Lupus SLE. This has redefined how I live my life and what I do daily.
For 30 years, every day I saddled horse s that I owned (60+ horses on our ranch) and trained and exercised about four of them a day. We raised quarter horses on a ranch. I competed in horse events since 4th grade (I’m not saying how long ago!)
I had a full time job in the judicial department as well.
I had to feed, doctor, take care of all these horses. Travel long distances to shows. I have one daughter and when when she was in high school she competed in High School rodeo . Yes! Our schools here have rodeo clubs. They can earn excellent scholarships.
So needless to say, I was BUSY.
I also worked in the film & TV industry as a horse trainer & stuntwomen.
All this STOPPED thanks to Lupus SLE.
They are distant memories. So for over half my life that’s all I’ve known. I never sat in the house & watched TV or read books. I certainly wasn’t in bed much.
So what happens when it ends. Well, for me, shock that I feel so bad, then fear not knowing what’s going on. Many doctor visits. Then the diagnosis.
Sell the ranch, sell the horses, move to “town”.
My entire friend group were fellow horse people. They continued on raising, showing horses. I began visiting doctors, taking medicines, hanging out in the hospital and mourning the loss of a life I loved. The only life I knew.
Once I recouperated from my first bad flare I decided, well I can’t just sit here so what do I want to do. What is a passion? MUSIC!
My new husband was a drummer so I decided to learn to play the bass guitar. Everyone laughed at me. “Really? The bass Susie?! It’s hard & don’t get too discouraged ”
Ughhhhh, thanks for the support folks. Lupus has NEVER taken away my “competitive spirit”. Just hearing people doubt me sparked my desire to play the bass. SO I used the Internet, YouTube videos, etc. & taught myself! I learned and even joined a band. Playing bass hurts my arthritic hands & fingers but it also exercises them.
I’m not a serious musician. I play now only when I feel inspired which hasn’t been much since I’ve been ill again.
The purpose of this blog was to say Lupus can show up & shake the apple cart of your life. You can lay down, cover your head & hide or you can redefine who & what you are. Don’t get me wrong. I spent a long time upset, depressed, angry. But that got boring fast. I’m making new memories now.
The great thing about “horse people” & farmers & ranchers is, they don’t
forget you. They are friends for life & keep me in the loop. I’m blessed!
I’m a new invention. Finding my way. This photo is me showing one of my horses.

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